I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
