Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of course. lets lasso hookers.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
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