just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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