we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
