He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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