please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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