I am spending my child support on dildos
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
