Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
