i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
