You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
