I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
