3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
