The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
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They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
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you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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