I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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