could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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