I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
