that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I want to be your penis for a week.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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