Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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