and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
