your room smells of hookers.
And success
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
