Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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