She went from zero to smokin in five shots
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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