So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
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