..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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