Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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