we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Someone shit on the floor
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
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