just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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