there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
