can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
