im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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