when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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