ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
