She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
