Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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