Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
