He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
