He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I checked into jail on foursquare
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize