Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
