Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
