you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
