Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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