If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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