I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
