He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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