so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
You can't just leave with hair like that
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
