he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
She made me pour olive oil on her.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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