I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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