I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
