Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I just want nice things and good sex
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
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