Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
