You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
