got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
