now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
