i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
My penis needs a shock collar
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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