That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
