good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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