Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
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