So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
