2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I have fence marks all over my body
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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